Wanting It More: The Truth about Low Sex Drive in Women

80
Sexuality #99

Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does.

Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use, unintentional pressure, lack of emotional awareness, and many others.

I’m Janna Denton-Howes, a Relationship Coach and Sex Educator who has specialized in this one area for the last 7 years, helping thousands of couples create a sex life that both partners can look forward to and genuinely enjoy. I’ve developed Doing It Together (formally known as “Wanting It More”), a unique program offering both men and women the tools, skills, and support to do the work required for a healthy and sustainable intimate life.

If you’re looking for a fresh perspective on how to have a great sex life that is truly nourishing, connecting, and fulfilling without any feelings of obligation, duty, or guilt, this is the podcast for you!

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Recent Reviews
  • GD.404
    Finally!!!
    Janna talks through the topics that are hard to find. When google searches about low libido just lead to medical diagnoses descriptions, it’s pretty discouraging. This podcast provides validating and actionable information about intimacy, libido, and relationships that I needed!
  • Indra Weyland
    Thank you
    Edit: I finally did your program after being long time listener and my husband was in therapy and recovery from porn addiction, and it has made such a difference for us! Your program is the only one I’ve found that addresses unhealthy media messages and how important emotional safety, validation and communication are. Truly life changing, highly recommend. We have a truly intimate and connected relationship now, and improved relationships with all the people in our lives. Thank you so much for this podcast! People need more information on how rampant pornography addiction is and how negatively it affects our relationships! My husband hid his addiction for 17 years and it changed him from being a devoted and kind partner and husband and the made him resentful and demanding. He equated love with sex, so any time I said no he catastrophized. His personality changed. He wouldn’t listen to my perspective on anything! He was distant and selfish during sex, and needy and pushy. It made me feel objectified and no longer wanted to have sex. Nothing mattered to him but his need for PIV sex and he would be too rough and cause me pain. Soooooo angry and betrayed. He is doing active addiction recovery work now and I’m praying we can recover
  • Bmcerlai
    Why women don’t enjoy sex
    I like the podcast, but have decided to Unfollow. Janna‘s focus is on women. I am a man. I think she actually is mis-guided, putting out questionable information.
  • Diamond SCS
    Doing it together
    I am 74 years old; I wish this had been available when I was much younger! I have related to so many of the episodes. It is done so tastefully and professionally.
  • Ryan G Thomas
    Not bad, but it lacks some
    I listened to her podcast for about a week. I was very intrigued with her content and super curious on how I can help my own marriage out with what she was saying. And then I found out she is more about women empowerment and not about aiding both partners into coming together. This is hard because I completely her point, but it meant making good men within their marriage being subordinate to their wives. That is not what a relationship is suppose to be. If you are looking to create mutual love and respect within your relationship, this podcast is not for you
  • Amy-in-California
    Wanting It More
    Wow- I wish I heard this information years ago. Listen for yourself. Janna can help you improve the intimacy in your marriage.
  • SushiPartyGal
    Life changing
    Janna is an excellent interviewer & this podcast is a life changer. I almost don’t even have the words to express how insightful & valuable I’ve found these episodes to be in examining & shattering the destructive societal conditioning most of us have received regarding sex & marriage. Highly recommend this podcast & also Janna’s other content (YouTube videos, for example). The course she offers sounds amazing. But whether or not you take it, these episodes alone offer so much! (I have not personally taken the course… yet). Thank you Janna!!!
  • lesmoney
    Wonderful podcast
    I was sent a link to this podcast from a dear friend and what a gift. As a pelvic floor physical therapist I have spent years trying to find ways to help my clients think of sex differently than what media throws at us. This podcast is my new safe place to refer my clients! Thank you for all you do!
  • JenC233
    Why physical attraction doesn’t solve low desire
    I listened to this podcast on my ride home yesterday. I felt like I was being interviewed. It was so crazy how my experiences match hers and it really helped me a lot! I was feeling alone & broken and thought I was the only one! Now I know I’m not.
  • Smitten Homestead
    Be a PICKY Woman!
    Such an amazing episodes! I’m a WIM alumni. Janna’s teaching are life changing. Listen to ALL the episodes and join a round of WIM if you can. You won’t regret it!
  • sommersj
    Wanting it more- W.I.M.
    I paid Janna $1,500.00 USD to take her WIM course. My wife and I attended every class and worked the program as best we could. It’s been about 4 months since the start, and I’m feeling like it was a big waste of money. Nothing has changed except I’m $1500 poorer. Needless to say, I don’t recommend this course to people who want help in their sex lives.
  • PodcastPaddleGirl
    Great information
    There is great information in every episode to help us increase our physical pleasure.
  • thecrystalp
    Everyone needs this information
    It can be hard to talk about sex, especially if you grew up with sex being a taboo subject. Janna is so knowledgeable and it’s amazing to be able to learn these things that I was missing from my sexual education, that I didn’t know I was missing. Being able to learn and grow without shame is bringing me peace.
  • Mocha nubcake
    Thank you!
    This podcast is SO relatable. Sex is such a taboo topic and I’m glad people are working to change that. I have seen myself in a lot of these women and it helps me feel more comfortable.
  • Tramage94
    Absolutely changed our marriage!
    If there was 10 key indicators of a great marriage, my wife and I were solid on 9 of them. But because we could not figure out one, the one I thought was the most important one (my “Love Language”), I felt like my wife didn’t REALLY love me. It is sooo strange to type this, but it is a feeling I struggled with for 30 years of marriage. These podcasts, and the 8 week WIM course that we later went through has radically transformed our marriage and we are experiencing levels of intimacy in all aspects of our marriage in ways I could not have imagined before. I thought I wanted more sex, but turns out I really wanted deep connection with my wife. It takes a lot of personal development to be able to truly be intimate with another person, and theses podcast give you the context and the tool to become the kind of human you want to be…the kind that can truly love and enjoy their spouse in healing and transformative ways. And by the way, side benefit…the sex that results in that emotional context is mind blowing:)
  • Kylethepopo
    Open Your Mind, Fellas!
    Janna is so absolutely spot on with how women are feeling about how we as men (accidentally) treat our spouses. There are several hard hitting facts that will make a proud man close this podcast and not consider the course. I WAS ONE OF THEM. Out of sheer love for my wife, I decided to take the course with my spouse. I’m now not only a proud graduate of WIM, I have been able to be present as Janna continues to create content for the “men’s side” of this course. I’m proud of her for going boldly into a topic that is taboo, speaking up bravely against not MEN, but cultures definition of men in regards to sex, and being so gentle with the delivery of this information. Marriage saver. Game changer. Put your pride down and love your wife on terms she agrees to, not what culture dictates.
  • tuesdayswithtimer
    Brave conversations.
    I am grateful for the brave conversations on Wanting it More Podcast. Janna affirms and empathizes and draws out thoughtful insights. More of this type of conversation is needed in our world today. I’m glad I listen in.
  • ELMmom
    Crossing Culture barriers
    I am currently in the WIM program and am someone who did not find the podcast before my husband and I started the program. I found this episode very resonating from a religious/familiar culture aspect. I appreciate Janna’s openness and willingness to share her personal experiences to help every listener feel like their journey isn’t unique.
  • chasetb
    Great for my wife, but not for me
    My wife found the podcast first and it really helped her to find her voice (and courage) to describe how she was feeling. It was a great, eye-opening experience for us both. I think the life experiences shared in the ~10 episodes I listened to were very helpful for me to understand how my contribution in the bedroom needed to change to make her feel comfortable again. I acknowledge that for most of the episodes, I (a man) am not the target audience. However, I felt my own sense of self-worth dramatically drop. Hearing how the actions of men – actions learned from culture – affect women already made me feel sick that I had been a part of that. The host and guests would often talk about how men’s intentions were good but would usually pivot into demeaning their intentions as well. It left me trying to be better for my wife and not being able to trust myself. It seemed to me that most of the episodes covered just enough so you’ll want to join the paid WIM program. Since I don’t have the money for that and it’s not covered by health insurance, this is where I’m leaving the podcast. I’m still very glad it helped my wife and started us on a new journey. Thank you for that much.
  • cscenns
    I’ve never felt more hopeful!
    Listening to the personal stories and testimonies of Janna and her guests has been so nourishing. I feel like I finally climbed aboard a safe warm lifeboat after treading water for years.
  • Nickoleum
    great for husbands to understand wives
    In a sea of conflicting messaging about sex/intimacy this podcast is very helpful, empathetic and honest.
  • CeeCeeV81
    Men’s POV is wonderful to listen to!
    Thanks so much for sharing Stewart!
  • MeshaMuse
    Comfortable environment for uncomfortable conversations
    Janna has created a space for an uncomfortable conversation effecting married women all over the world.
  • Curious and learning
    So honest and authentic!
    I really appreciate Janna and her husband being willing to share their story. It’s so relatable. Knowing what others have struggled through, on a topic that so few open up and talk about, helps you know you’re not alone.
  • different riding go ur
    Game changer
    So many of the things that I have been struggling to put into words, explained.
  • St Lily
    Game changer
    If you are looking for joy and freedom in your physical intimacy life with your loving husband, this is the podcast for you. Sex has been such a meaningless duty in my marriage of over 20+ years. However, with the information I received from listening to this podcast and taking the “wanting it more” course, I now have the knowledge and ability to explore this area of connection and pleasure that I have never even known about before. This is too good to be true! Try it you’ll like it.
  • Elephant13!
    Great straight forward information for women and men
    Sex is so taboo to talk about in our culture. This podcast does an excellent job of discussing a subject we all do desperately need to talk about!
  • Dancer24710
    Great podcast
    Amazing.
  • lenakay
    Great review for program alumni!
    I absolutely love this podcast for changing the way women and men think about sex. I went through Jana’s program a few years ago and I love this podcast to use as a refresher for the training that I went through. I recommend this podcast, even if you haven’t gone through Janice program to help change the way sex portrayed in society, and pass the knowledge down to further generations.
  • G00fy2012
    Important
    So helpful for women to know they are not alone.
  • RG925
    So important!
    Janna’s work is so important and life saving for many. She incorporates so many important perspectives. I’m really thankful to have found her!
  • Mombwr5
    Really good stuff!
    Just started listening this week and I’ve already learned so much!
  • Mrs. Boogz
    Breaking Lifetimes of Hurtful Ideas
    Janna is so refreshing to listen to and I just soak in her explanations of how societies have tarnished what should be a great thing, and how to make it right. It is so healing and makes so much sense. So thankful for her work and vulnerability!
  • INO_SomaDevi
    Essential
    The most gentle and compassionate look into how people got to be so far removed from true intimacy, safety, pleasure and connection in the bedroom… and how to unfold into it from where you are now.
  • Caneilson
    Not Broken
    My husband and I have a wonderful loving relationship and I was confused for so long as to why intimacy was hard for me. The content in this podcast that resonated so much with me told me that I’m not “broken” and my self-criticism was only hurting us more. Such a difficult and personal subject that Janna makes understandable, relatable, normal, and healing.
  • Ericka Sylvester
    Beautiful podcast for women who need this message
    Janna is a foundation of wisdom and she is so passionate about helping women in their sex lives. I trust her voice and have learned so much from her. Highly recommend!
  • 25yrsMarriedMomof4
    Life Changing
    Their are not too many things in life that I can say are life changing, but WIM is.
  • WarNonger5267
    Like The Owners Manual!
    Not that she’s a car, but Jana’s insight to my wife’s exact thoughts is refreshing and explains what I’ve been observing for years. My wife hinted at these concepts forever and the podcast gives me the needed context for my small husband-brain to comprehend. I pray that she will eventually want to listen to this and in the meantime I will try to do my part. Although I agree with Jana that culture has played a large part in men’s expectations, I feel she doesn’t put enough consideration into the millions of years of biology that affect men’s desire for sex. It would be nice if women recognize this not as some cultural scam that men have been duped into; but rather a hard-wired (natural) desire. Also it’s not just “cave-man” behavior but the way God has designed men to feel loved and connected to our wives (just like ‘talking’ is for women). Overall the insight from Jena will help me better understand the difficulty my wife is facing and blame her less. I’ve spent many years struggling with a sexless marriage and my conclusion has been “I’m just not good enough of a husband. I’ll never be good enough to receive sex from my wife.” Maybe this approach is the glimmer of hope I’ve been looking for.
  • unclesham
    Enlightened and valuable for both sexes
    I’m a guy in a marriage to a woman. I found Janna’s Wanting It More podcast when my wife signed up for her program. It’s a great package that works where therapy has failed in the past. Wish we’d found this a long time ago. Janna is brave, empowered, well spoken and enlightened. If you’re looking to understand sexuality from a place beyond the cultural norm, this is for you. It’s all about safety, pleasure and connection and how to get there as a couple. I find the podcast interesting as a stand alone. Thanks Janna!
  • shamnsthoughts
    So needed
    Thank you so much for this sort of honestly that doesn’t rely on raunchy talk or racy conversations. It’s just pure honesty about what we all deal with on a daily basis
  • Ver1110
    Absolutely Lifechanging
    Hello to anyone who is reading this review! I am a 30 year old queer woman married to a cis white man. I have biographical trauma that makes sexual experiences very challenging. I’ve done a lot of healing work which makes room for embodied sex, but I didn’t actually know how to go about building a new foundation of intimacy and sexual health. Finding Janna’s work two years ago was such a deeply shifting experience. I have not taken her course yet, hopefully one day I will, but just listening to her podcast and reflecting on her shared work has been so impactful. I am so grateful for you Janna, for sharing these real life moments with us, and being a part of the movement of women empowering women to claim safety, their bodies, and their right to *their* pleasure back. Thank you, thank you.. I look forward to every episode and have just started listening with my husband- it has sparked meaningful conversations and is paving the way for inner work together.
  • 2teachis2touchlives4ever
    Episode 36–share with your husband
    I thought this episode was so helpful. Janna explained the things that I have been feeling and trying to express, but in a clear and concise and positive way. There is no judgment here!! The WIM message is about couples learning together in the safety of their relationships to enjoy sexual experiences. I did participate in the WIM program a few years ago and it had an impact, but this helped sum it all up and bring back some of the pinnacles of the teaching that both men and women should hear to help them understand why men might pursue sex in one way and women might pull away even though they love and desire their husband. Janna ends with some helpful and hopeful suggestions and action steps that both husbands and wives can take away from this episode. 💗
  • Mama Niuxa
    Episode 36 - amazing!
    I just happened to listen to episode 36 designed to explain women’s low sex drive to men. I have initially participated in a live Zoom presentation with Jana, but never listened to the podcast until today. There literally was not a word in this episode that didn’t relate to what I have been going through myself, and, as it turns out, I just never knew how to describe it in words to my husband or to myself. It’s as if Jana got inside my head, heart and soul and articulated exactly how I felt! Needless to say, I immediately forwarded the link to my husband, since we have been trying hard to make things better in our sex life. Love love love the feeling of guilt lifted off me. Thank you, Jana❤️❤️❤️
  • junikens
    Just discovered this powerful Podcast
    I am just beginning to listen to the podcast and am so excited that Jenna is addressing such an important issue in couples. We have been so brainwashed by our culture that both men and women are feeling alone and hurting. I can’t wait to explore further. Good going Jenna and thank you!
  • maureenlaughs
    One of a kind
    This podcast can really change your marriage (and possibly your life) if you let it. I went through Janna’s WIM program and this podcast teaches all its principles through real life stories. It changed the way I think of sex and power in my world. It is sorely needed. My husband and I have a whole new relationship and I have a new relationship with myself
  • Ambanson
    Getting Real About Sex in Marriage
    This podcast is what started my journey of self discovery, and the process of coming back home to myself. Janna and her guests were the first people I have ever heard voice things about their sexual experiences and their feelings around sex with their spouse that actually resonated with me. Tears poured out episode after episode as I finally, for the first time in 17 yrs, felt seen, heard, and understood. The liberation this podcast launched me into is indescribable in words. It motivated me to sign up for Janna’s class “Wanting It More,” which has been life changing for many reasons. Please listen to this podcast if you have been stuck in a cycle of duty sex for one year or forty years, you will not regret it!
  • chica auténtica
    Wanting it more
    This program validated me and gave me hope for something I’d long given up hoping for. I felt like I wasn’t alone. Having the podcast now is so helpful to keep reminding me it’s not just me.
  • Littlemoophoto
    Much needed real talk about sex
    The education Janna is providing is unique and needed for every woman now and all the next generations. Fully recommend.
  • S.M. in LA
    From a male listener
    Jana’s podcast has revolutionized how my wife and I think about intimacy. After decades of fighting, pouting, and distancing ourselves over disagreements about sex, the counter cultural message of non-obligational intimacy feels right. We read books, attended seminars, saw counselors but nothing seemed to change the dynamic. Although my wife has only listened to a couple of podcasts after I recommended them to her I continue to re-educate myself with every episode and even Jana’s older YouTube videos. Hoping this message gets amplified to reach couples and communities who need to here a better way.
  • Livininjenks
    Love this!
    This program has changed my life and my marriage. I am free!!!!!
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